bottoms up: Financial Trauma
Financial trauma isn’t just about numbers—it’s a deep emotional experience that affects how we interact with money. The struggle isn’t simply about budgeting or saving; it’s about navigating feelings that are as complex as any emotional journey. Whether you identify as an over-saver, an over-spender, or an emotional spender, understanding the roots of your financial behavior can be a powerful step toward healing.
We’ve all seen some Sh*t
Many of us grew up in environments where money was a source of stress, security, or even shame. These early experiences can shape our financial habits in ways that aren’t immediately obvious. Perhaps you learned that saving every penny was a way to feel secure, or maybe you found that spending was a way to momentarily escape difficult emotions. These responses, while understandable, often become ingrained habits that carry forward into adulthood.
Financial trauma can manifest in various ways:
Over-Saving: You might hoard every dollar, always thinking about “what if” scenarios, because your past taught you that scarcity was the norm.
Over-Spending: On the flip side, spending excessively can serve as a form of self-soothing—a quick emotional fix when life feels overwhelming.
Emotional Spending: Sometimes, money becomes a proxy for dealing with feelings of loss, inadequacy, or uncertainty, where each purchase is an attempt to fill an emotional void.
…but if we don’t ACKNOWLEDGE it, we can’t work through it.
Understanding your financial behavior means recognizing that you are not alone. Many of us adopt patterns that make sense within the context of our past. When you’re feeling unsafe or unworthy, money can become a tool—either a shield against potential hardship or a temporary escape from emotional pain.
For those who over-save, there’s often an underlying fear of not having enough. It’s not just about dollars and cents; it’s about the feeling of security that money symbolizes. On the other hand, if you find yourself over-spending or making impulsive purchases, it might be a way to reclaim control or reward yourself during times of stress.
Your Money Story mirror
It can be empowering to see that your financial habits are not a personal failing but a natural response to past experiences. This self-awareness is the first step in transforming your relationship with money. Here are some insights to help you reframe your journey:
Self-Compassion is Key: Acknowledge that your behavior, whether it's over-saving or over-spending, has a story behind it. It’s not about being “good” or “bad” with money—it’s about surviving and adapting.
Reflect on Your Triggers: Consider what emotions or situations lead you to act a certain way with money. Journaling or speaking with a trusted friend can illuminate patterns that you might not have noticed before.
Celebrate Small Wins: Whether you’ve managed to save a little extra or resist an impulsive purchase, recognize that every step is a victory. Healing takes time, and each small win builds resilience.
Flipping the script: Steps Toward Healing
Educate Yourself Without Judgment
Learning about personal finance is empowering. Look for resources that speak to your experience and offer compassionate advice. Understand that financial literacy is a journey—there are no “perfect” money habits.
Create a Flexible Financial Plan
Instead of imposing strict rules, design a financial plan that allows for both saving and spending in a balanced way. Consider setting aside funds for both essentials and little indulgences that bring you joy.
Seek Professional Guidance
A financial coach or therapist who specializes in financial trauma can help bridge the gap between your emotions and your financial decisions. Professional support can offer new strategies and validate your experiences.
Connect With Community
Join groups or forums where other women share their journeys. Knowing you’re not alone—and that others face similar struggles—can be incredibly comforting and motivating.
Embracing Your Financial Future
The path to healing financial trauma is not about erasing the past but integrating it into a healthier, more empowered future. By understanding why you do what you do with money, you can begin to make choices that honor both your emotional needs and your financial goals.
Remember, your financial journey is as unique as you are. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and it’s okay to seek help along the way. Whether you’re learning to balance saving with spending or discovering new ways to cope with emotional triggers, each step you take is a step toward reclaiming your power—both in your wallet and in your life.
Embrace your story, honor your journey, and know that healing is possible. Your past may have shaped your relationship with money, but it doesn’t have to define your future.
